Lebanon Reporter

Columns

September 12, 2012

What kind of mother am I? Don’t ask my kids

— “What kind of mother do you think I am?” I inquired of my teenage son.

“A horrible one!” he replied.

“Well, if that’s the way you feel about it, then yes, I will definitely have the video camera running when you come out from under anesthesia.”

There really isn’t anything better than fun-loving interaction with your teenage children, unless, perhaps, it is recording them as they start waking up after surgery.

My son inherited my huge horse teeth. Or if you are a school bully, you might describe them as “Chiclet Teeth.” This means that due to lack of space, his wisdom teeth were not only impacted, but actually growing completely sideways.

When I had mine removed, there were a number of complications due to the fact that they had been in my mouth for nearly 40 years. So, I determined that my kids should have theirs removed while they are still young. Besides, ever since I got the giggles while the oral surgeon was ever so gently pressing on my face, I’ve had a bit of a crush on him. So, any time I can get one of my kids into his office, it’s worth the $50 copay.

I sat patiently in the waiting area, thumbing through a Rachael Ray magazine while simultaneously watching her on TV. The nurse kept me apprised of my son’s progress, and I texted the updates to hubby who was 5,000 miles away, and already tucked in for the night. 

Finally, it was time to pull out the video camera and watch the boy wake up. 

Mom: “Hey, honey!  How are you feeling?” 

Son: “Awesome! Anesthesia is the best thing ever! I know how a polar bear feels. Can I have some more?” 

Mom (shoving video camera closer to son’s face): “What’s that? You know how a polar bear feels?”

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