Lebanon Reporter

Columns

July 16, 2013

Better save than sorry

(Continued)

Here’s another one. If you have something that is flea-ridden, place the infested item in a plastic garbage bag in a hot car with the doors and windows closed. That will kill the fleas, they say. But it will also scare the heck out of your dog who has been sitting nervously next to you trying not to scratch.

And my favorite: “When you are finished gassing up your car, invert the pump nozzle 180 degrees because there is an extra ounce still in there that you already paid for.” So, the next time you see a little old lady tangled up in her gas hose, racked in pain over her broken wrist, well, there’s your typical cheapskate AARP subscriber.

I’d like to offer my own saving tips to AARP. When the bottle of skim milk is half empty, fill it to the top with water. This changes it from almost tasteless to completely tasteless. You could also stiff your waiter, buy one refillable soda and split it with someone, steal artificial sweetener from a restaurant and enjoy a free lunch by tasting every sample offered at Sam’s Club.

If AARP uses these suggestions, it would get them up to 104 Ways to Save for next year. That’s more ways, even, than how to murder your boss.

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