Lebanon Reporter

Columns

July 30, 2012

Rugged individualism rules

(Continued)

Mary Ellen went on to say I was behaving in the characteristically neurotic way I approach everything I do in life. I defended myself, of course. “I don’t think I am that compulsive. It’s true all my shirt hangers have to face in the same direction, but my closet runs east and west so I can’t possibly ...

“I am like begging you not to finish this explanation. You’re really scaring me. Here’s what else you do: you put the condiments in the fridge in alphabetical order; and the weirdest thing of all is the way you arrange books on your office shelves.”

“Wait a second. Lots of people have a special way of doing that.”

“By the authors’ first names?”

Despite my wife’s complaints, she did realize that once all the boxes had been neatly piled in the garage, there was a whole lot less disorder in the house — kind of a nice feeling, she said. “Dick, let’s just sit on the couch, cuddle up, watch TV and enjoy our clutter-free home while it lasts.”

“Why don’t we go to the movies instead?” I asked.

“You packed the remote, didn’t you?”

“It’s either in the R box with your raincoat and my Reeboks, or in the gadget box. No worries. I TiVo’d everything for the next month.

As I mentioned, it will be weeks before I can unpack anything. In the meantime, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me on my cell phone. It will scare the heck out of the cat.

Text Only
Columns

Featured items
Click below to browse and order photos


Photos from August 2014

Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter
AP Video
US: We Do Not Pay Ransom to Terrorists Ferguson Teachers Training to Deal With Trauma Jon Hamm on the Unrest in Ferguson Tit for Tat? McDonald's Shuttered in Moscow Life on the Professional Video Game Circuit TX Gov Perry in Washington: 'Confident' in Case Hospital Releases Two Missionaries Who Had Ebola Ramen Health Risks: The Dark Side of the Noodle NYC Doctor-in-chief Seeks Community Approach Indonesian Police Fire Tear Gas at Protesters Raw: Shots Fired in Liberian Shantytown DOJ, Bank of America Reach Record Settlement Raw: Cubavision Airs Images of Fidel Castro Raw: Grief After Deadly Airstrikes in Gaza Officer Who Pointed Gun at Protesters Suspended Kathy Griffin Challenges Minaj to 'a Booty Off' Johnson: Six Arrests, No Tear Gas in Ferguson Raw: Rescue, Relief Efforts at Japan Landslide Cadavers, a Teen, and a Medical School Dream California Drought Stings Honeybees, Beekeepers
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide