Lebanon Reporter

Columns

June 26, 2013

Kids say the darndest things

— Thoughts from 5-year-old Hudson and 6-year-old Phoebe:  

Profound:

Yesterday, it was storming to the east, but in the west was bright sunshine. Our road was a distinct dividing line. As we were driving along, Hudson observed, “Sissy always says, ‘look on the bright side.’ Now I know why. When I look over on the bright side I feel happy, but when I look at that dark side I get scared.”

Optimistic:

I sang: “The funny little bunny likes carrots in his tummy, he’s happy when it’s sunny, but when it rains he’s glummy.”

Hudson: What is glummy?

Me: Sad or depressed

Hudson: Well he shouldn’t be sad when it rains ’cause rain makes carrots grow!

Innovative:

The children were excited about a small lizard they found. I told them to catch it, and they asked, “With what?” I suggested using their hands. Silence for a moment, and then Hudson grabbed his sister’s arm and said, “I’ll use Phoebe’s hand!!”

Creative:

As I tucked my boy in, I said, “I want you to stay in bed tonight.” He responded, “I’ll try, but my legs are already trying to get back up!”

Convincing:

They asked for corn dogs for breakfast. I suggested oatmeal. Hudson replied, “We really want something that calls for ketchup.”

Conscience Development:  

Hudson: “I keeped my eyes closed tight the WHOLE time we prayed!”

Phoebe: “So, did I!”

Hudson: “No, you didn’t. You peeked!”

Me: “If your eyes were closed, how do you know?”

Hudson: :Well, maybe my eyes were open just a little bit. (Pause) Actually, I keeped my eyes open really wide the whole time.”

Honest:

I was singing along to “Cheer up, Sleepy Jean,” and Hudson asked, “Do you know that song?” “Yes!” I replied. He responded, “How about you just know it, but don’t sing it?”

Independent:

I unwrapped a stick of butter.

Phoebe: “I could have done that for you!”

Me: “I really didn’t want you to get all buttery.”

Phoebe: “My life is my own! I don’t know when you are going to realize that!”

Innocent:  

Phoebe reflected, “I wish I was a Barbie doll.”

Holding my breath, wondering if she would say she wished she had a tiny waist or flat belly, I asked, “Why do you want to be a Barbie?”

She replied, “Well, if I was a Barbie, then I could turn my head all the way around.”

Traitor:

I took the kids to school an hour late. Hudson walked into the classroom and announced, “Hi everybody! We had a rough night because Mom kept taking all my covers!”

Content:

Phoebe is excited to be in a booster seat. She said to Hudson, “I bet you wish you were me!” He replied from his car seat: “No, I not! I actually really happy I myself!”

Discontent:

Hudson comparing his breakfast plate to 17-year-old Alex’s: “Why bubby get 300 bacons?!” (We’re not prone to exaggeration around here, unless we are unfairly shorted on bacon.)

Self-Aware:

Me? “Hudson, why are you so cute? What is your secret?”

Hudson: Whispering in my ear, “God made me that way!”

Truitt is an author, speaker and mother of five. Find her on Facebook (Ginger Truitt-Author) and Twitter (@GingerTruitt), or email her at ginger@gingertruitt.com.

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