Lebanon Reporter

January 30, 2014

I saw Frosty shiver -- too cold for him?

Lebanon Reporter

---- — Ice formations began to form and lengthen as the temperature began to plummet. They weren’t hanging from the gutters on our home, but on my beard and mustache instead. I wasn’t exploring either the North or South poles, but merely waiting for my dog to complete her business outside. I know from past experiences, that if I had stayed out long enough I would begin to look like a walrus with large white tusks extending from each corner of my mouth. So goes the winter of 2014.

And just think, at least two months remain of winter before we can even begin to think about bringing out the shorts and T-shirts. Don’t last summer’s sweltering temperatures seem like nothing more than a distant memory? A year ago our tulips in the back yard had already popped up, only to be frozen a few days later. They never found their way back up through the soil again last year, but thankfully our heavy blanket of snow is holding them at bay this time around. I spied buds on some of our trees this morning, which gave me the confidence that spring will once again come knocking at our doorsteps. The snow is loaded with tons of nitrogen, which I hope will help produce many beautiful flowers during this year’s growing season along with some of the greenest grass that we have seen in years. The heavy snow will also have another positive effect on our plants and lawns, by acting as a blanket protecting them from all of the sub zero temperatures that we are experiencing this winter.

Let’s try and find something positive about this unusually cold weather that we are having. For one thing, we don’t have to stoop down and pull any weeds out of our gardens. Nor do we have to mow our grass once or twice a week. We certainly won’t have to worry about the flies or mosquitoes buzzing around our heads, or any slithering snakes crawling between our legs. Our windows are shut tight, so much of the neighbors’ noises that normally disturb our sleep will go unnoticed. Now aren’t we “happy, happy, happy” that it is so darn cold outside this year?It’s probably easier to break into Fort Knox than it is to get into most of our homes this winter, with all of the towels that are piled against the doors and heavy plastic that is covering many of our windows. It’s so cold that even my no trespassing signs are probably suffering from frostbite. This has to be an extremely tough year to be a snowman. Think about it, they are already made of ice, so with all of the snow that has fallen and temperatures plunging well below zero, they’ve got to be shivering beyond belief. If they had thumbs, I’m just certain that there would be a few of those frosty fellows trying to hitch a ride to sunny Florida. It’s just so cold outside today that most of the snow angels wings are probably frozen stiff, or for that matter, shattering to pieces from being so brittle.

One nice thing about all of this cold weather compared to the summer heat is that it is much more comfortable sitting next to our fireplace than it would be in the middle of July. Though, don’t most of us sit by a roaring fire while we are camping at Shades when the thermometer is reading somewhere in the 90s? Why do so many people drink steaming hot coffee during the hottest times of the year? My grandma would have told you that “hot coffee cools down your body.” Yeah right, Granny. One thing is for certain, our air conditioners don’t usually break down this time of year. My wife always asks me, “Ray, why do you have your ceiling fan on in the middle of winter?” Just like the kid that eats all of the cookies and his mom asks him why, my reply is, “I don’t know.”So as we glare out our windows and look in awe at all of the beautiful winter wonderland that surrounds our warm and cozy homes, will we all be wondering if our cars will start in the morning? I use to jump up two or three times during the nighttime to start our cars, just so they would be ready to go in the morning. Nowadays, I can’t seem to pull myself out from under the warm covers long enough just to go to the bathroom.

Happy shoveling.

Contact Raymond Snoke at shark_guy2@yahoo.com.