Lebanon Reporter

Columns

September 25, 2012

The secret lives of red-heads

(Continued)

By the way, both groups of women voluntarily agreed to this experiment for a small stipend, which does suggest that women in Louisville are willing to do anything for a buck. In Kentucky, that kind of publicity is great for tourism.

I didn’t show my wife the article, because I wanted to do a little independent study myself. My friend’s wife is a brunette, so we both spent a few weeks doing extensive personal research and then compared notes.

According to our observations, a man with a red-headed wife (that would be me):

1. Requires a 100 percent more expensive restaurant to get out of the dog house.

2. Will tell 100 percent fewer jokes about people with freckles.

3. Will spend 100 percent more time saying to clerks at Christmas time: “My wife can’t wear that color.”

4. If he’s smart, is 100 percent less likely to use the word “fiery” in front of her when she gets angry.

5. Is 100 percent more likely to hear his wife say: “I think we’ve been out in the sun long enough.”

These findings are only based on two women in Indianapolis.

Your results may vary.

 

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